Delays

You know how you get all primed up for things to change?  You talk to yourself, weigh pros and cons, come up with plans, designs, get a good nights sleep and think, good, in the morning I will begin working for me and what I want to do.

I tried that last fall after coming home from the east to visit my kids and two grandsons.  BAM, sick, more sickness and then more sickness.  Day after day goes by, nothing getting done towards my own goals.

Is anything ever going to change?  Yes, when I say to hell with all the interruptions.  I am at that point now.

Then a family crisis comes next and you can't just go off and discover yourself.  I have been reading my magazines, that interest me and the so to speak trade magazines,can't wait to get started.  Then I think, remind myself.  The studio is full of crap, full of sawdust from the building project Al is working on and a ton of other household jobs to do.  I can never get started doing what I want to do, cause of the damn housework and the preparing meals.  I cook from scratch, everything needs to be chopped, cleaned, skined, trimmed, whatever! then I cook.  I just don't know how to cook other wise.  If I get convience foods, I can really screw those things up.  Don't know why?  It's cooking, isn't it?  But setting timers for frozen something, something else frozen, that requires different time, and temps, hell, before I know it, that is ruined.

So I go to bed early and think perhaps a full nights sleep will set me straight.
4:00 a.m. comes along and a potty break, go back to bed and stare at the shadows dancing on the walls.  tick tick tick.  So almost 6:00 a.m. and say to heck with it go back to bed cause tomorrow I will be dozing at the desk.

I'll try again tonight.